the piper

during my daily commute from work to home (i lose many hours of my life this way each week) i take the same interchange between two trains. there i encounter a man i wish i didn't hear every day. i can still remember the first time i heard him (cue wayne and garth saying doo-doo-doo-doo and waving their hands vertically).

at the fifth stair from the bottom i heard the sound of an ambiguous wind instrument playing a wistful tune. when i reached the bottom of the staircase i saw a very wise-looking man with long, greying brown hair standing in front of a bench and playing a wooden instrument that i didn't recognize.

immediately, i sized him up to see if i would give him money. i give money to people playing music for one of two reasons: either they play or sing darn well or they look like they really need the money. this guy didn't really fit into either category. his tune wandered; it fit the mental stereotype i have of hippie-new age-midlife crisis music, but it didn't appeal to me. his clothes didn't look new, but they seemed clean. he wore khaki cargo pants, a vest over a colorful sweater and hiking boots. his hair was partly covered by a woolen cap.

i wasn't so sure that he wasn't destitute or secretly playing good music, so i described a circle around the bench where he was playing, all the while listening intently to his song. when i reached about 240 degrees he squeaked, which is bad form, but forgivable considering the conditions under which he was playing. i thought about the lonely, stiff dollar bill standing in his cup next to his instrument case. at 360 degrees i was still undecided, so i watched, listened and waited next to the staircase.

that was where i discovered that the piper, as he will henceforth be known, had no clue what he was doing. there were smooth notes transitioning to smooth notes, fading into squawks. in the middle of what seemed like a melody, he made his pipe shriek staccato notes in an attempt at a light, impish tune. disgusted, i walked to the other end of the platform.